Thanks for the comment and the honesty Ryan.
I can only say that you’re not alone in having regrets. I think that the large majority of us are always looking back and wishing we could have done more sooner.
It sounds like you’re learning from past mistakes. And you seem dedicated to improvement. Both are great. My only caution is not to completely miss out on the next part of your life while you try to atone for previous years. It would be a shame to have a whole different set of regrets as you turn 50.
And try looking at your previous years differently. It’s easy to think you wasted them. But they’ve also contributed to the experiences you have today. How can you use them to influence your writing? I’m sure there are others who share your mindset. It’s a potential audience to reach.
Best of luck.