Stop Saying “It’s No Big Deal.” It is a Big Deal.
You Get What You Tolerate
“It’s not what you preach, it’s what you tolerate,” wrote Navy Seals Jocko Willink and Leif Babin on maintaining standards as a leader. This same principle extends to all aspects of life. With every interaction, you teach people how you want to be treated. If you tolerate less respect, less respect is undoubtedly what you’ll receive.
Your boss trivializes your concerns or minimizes your contribution. Your teammate fails to do his fair share, forcing you to pick up the slack. Your customer makes an unreasonable demand, setting you and your team up for extra, and often unnecessary, work.
And yet instead of standing up for yourself, you find yourself saying, “It’s no big deal.” It’s understandable. You don’t want to invite conflict. No one wants the reputation of a drama king or queen. Yet your response sets the standard for future interactions. It shows people what you’re willing to tolerate.
Rule 1: People will treat you how you allow them to treat you.
While blatant bullying is much less common at work than in high school, people are still people. Consciously or unconsciously, we recognize who will get upset over a missed deadline and who will look the other way. We figure out who will speak up in the face of unreasonable demands…
