Hi Zita Ranics,

I’ll start out by saying not to be too hard on yourself. It’s easy to look back on past decisions and visualize how one option would have worked out better. I think this is often because when we consider the roads not taken, we visualize them working out perfectly, which would rarely be the case in real life.

From the aspect of decision-making, I found Dan Gilbert’s book, Stumbling on Happiness, to be helpful in understanding how our minds work in relation to our expectations for future happiness. It doesn’t necessarily offer a roadmap for better decisions, but helped me understand my internal decision-making process and the inherent flaws within that system.

Another one that isn’t necessarily about decision-making, but helped me redefine my priorities in life is William B. Irvine’s Guide to the Good Life. It’s a great introduction to Stoic philosophy and helped me put different things in perspective and better focus my attention and happiness on those things I could control.

One other idea is to just start tracking what decisions you make, which ones go well, and which ones don’t. At the end of each day, what decisions did you make, what drove you to decide as you did, and how happy are you with that decision. If you can start to see a trend in how you’re making these decisions, or whether you’re prioritizing other people over yourself in certain situations, it gives you some actions to focus on for the next day to reverse this trend.

Hope this helps and best wishes going forward.

Writing helps me realize just how little I know.

Writing helps me realize just how little I know.